Can you suggest an economic one-liner for David Cameron?

Pete Hoskin over at Coffee House is suggesting that Labour is cornering the market in one line explanations of the current financial crisis.  In an interesting post he highlights Brown's "Global financial problem which started in America” and less convincingly “We’re meeting with world leaders”.  What should the Tory line be?  The thirty comments below Pete's question don't - we think - beat the line briefed to ConHome on Tuesday: 'Brown rescued the banks but not the real economy'.

Comments

[Richard North]

I resign?

[Small government conservative]

I like that one too although it should be more personal: BROWN RESCUED THE BANKS BUT HE DIDN'T SAVE YOUR JOB / YOUR HOUSE.

(AMENDED BY EDITOR AT 1725 AT COMMENTER'S REQUEST).

[Jennifer Wells]

More than a one-liner Cameron needs to produce a dynamite policy like a 5p cut in income tax for the next two years.

[Tim Montgomerie]

Let's be constructive please Richard!

[its not clear what has been rescued yet]

I resign as does George Osborne. Effective immediately.

[Labour and proud of it]

No one liner is going to rescue you. Get used to the fact that this crisis is the sort of thing the Labour Party was made for.

David Cameron seems to want to blame anyone but his rich kid friends in the city for this - apparently we've all borrowed too much and want too much spent on our public services.

No. Some spectacularly rich people thought they could find a way to make themselves even richer and then went into blind panic when it all went wrong.

And what had to step in to save them? The evil state.

Can you see where you all went wrong yet?

[Joe]

Brown's Labour has ruined the country, we need the Conservatives to save it.

[Alan S]

We cleaned up Labour's mess in 1979. We'll do it again.

[Felicity Mountjoy]

There's no need for one liners because:

(a) As the recession bites these good days for Gordon Brown will be forgotten.

(b) The electorate doesn't want soundbite explanations but to be treated as adults with a grown up plan to rescue Britain.

[judyl]

brown tries to save the global economy how about starting to save the uks

[christina Speight]

Suggest

1. Brown uses the crisis to make you forget he caused it!

2. Bank bail-out a shambles - stealing from pension funds (re no dividends)

3. Brown takes Britain into socialist state

[David (One of many)]

Lot of trolls today...

Both on this board, an in the government. Might that work?

[Henry Mayhew - ukipper]

I can think of plenty of good one-liners but none that fit David Cameron's politics.

Surely his one liner is: 'Sharing the proceeds of growth'? Why does he need another?

[Sammy Finn]

Brown's boom has become a bust for every family in Britain.

[Northern Economist]

Brown - the source of recession not the saviour

[Shaun Pilkington]

Gordon Brown repeatedly claimed to have done away with boom and bust. Now it becomes clear: he was half right!

[Sammy Finn]

Good one Shaun.

[ChrisD]

When will a Labour government realise you cannot control the economic cycle? Mend the roof while the sun is shining so you have somewhere to shelter during the storm.

The taxpayer bailed out the UK banks, but who is going to rescue the taxpayer from this government's spiralling mountain of debt?

Polly Toynbee at her patronising best as the doyen of the Left.
Jobs, jobs, jobs must be the mantra for a softer recession
"None of these new claimants would appreciate how much less humiliating claiming the dole is now than in the last recession 17 years ago. Gone are the rows of battered plastic chairs bolted down to lino floors, gone the bulletproof screens, the angry queues hours long. Now it's plush carpets, soft bright armchairs, an appointment system with attentive personal advisers at open desks. Where it took countless separate claims to Revenue & Customs, local council and benefits office, repeating the same story over and over, now everything will be sorted in one interview. At least the hundreds of thousands destined to pass this way soon will not find such indignity under Labour's regime"

You could not make this leftist claptrap up, its beyond parody!

[michael mcgough]

John Redwood is joining the Shadow Cabinet with immediate effect.

[John Moss]

It's time for the end of Brown - he's bust!

[Paul Haley]

Ba-boom and then bust

[David (One of many)]

Labour - now offering four seasons of discontent.

[Onemarcus]

How about Gordon is no Superman he helped cause it we should start calling him "CRASH Gordon".

Its time to start pining the blame rather than leave Gordon Brown to take the plaudits for throwing our money at the problem in a way that may still not solve the problem.

Lets use CRASH GORDON

[Gwendolyn]

Brown's a busted flush.

[Westminster Wolf]

Further to David (one of many) and fastforwarding to the end of next year:

In 1979 Labour gave us a winter of discontent, in 2009 they gave us a spring, summer, autumn and winter of recession.

[Resident Leftie]

How about,

Take the high road, you Scottish oik, it's time for a toff!

Posted by: Shaun Pilkington | October 18, 2008 at 16:37

Gordon Brown repeatedly claimed to have done away with boom and bust. Now it becomes clear: he was half right!

(c)2008 Paul Staines

[Dorian Grapeshot -Resident Feudalist]

Gordon Brown has sold our country to the pawn shop and it may take a generation before we can get it back again.

Responsibility? Who to blame? That's you, that's me, that's America, that's unfettered Thatcherite capitalism, that's reckless bankers and the free for all of irresponsibility: But who was our Chancellor Gordon? On whose watch was it?

Irresponsibility? Anyone but Gordon. Responsibility? Anyone but Gordon.

BTW. I have yet to see the parallel with the near collapse of the insurance sector in the 80s at Lloyds of London. Re-selling of risk? It was almost exactly the same except the Names (the risk takers) took the hit for it and not the greedy bastards that dropped them in it. The ones that gambled with other people's money. Wait a minute...

Journos: Go with it! It's got byline written all over it. Fee to ConHome (not Resident Leftie).

FeudalistHome: It's the future!

[M Dowding]

Conservatives will mend the roof, they always have to!

[John Reeks]

Small government conservative at 1541 got it spot on. (A little work on the syntax might help though)

[David Belchamber]

A Labour government always ends in tears.

Labour isn't working - again!

The virtual economy meets the real one at last.

[ChrisD]

"Conservatives will mend the roof, they always have to!"

Well they say the Conservative tent is a broad one, it always has to be after a Labour government!

[Iain]

Personally I feel the most effective thing the Conservatives could do would be to properly argue their case, and instead of coming up with crappy one liners or stupid analogies about burring houses, or fixing roofs, they actually put the facts and figures before the population.

Eg Conservative Governments exit recessions (1990's 43% of GDP) with the level of debt that Labour enter a recession (2008 43% of GDP ).

Or the worst under a Conservative bust (income growth 2.1% ) is better than a Labour boom (income growth 1.4% ).

[Patsy Sergeant]

David Belchamber @ 17.35 - I like your three lines very much, it is a bit different!

[anon]

"Irresponsibility Brown"
"Things can only get much, much worse"

[Iain]

"Irresponsibility Brown"

I like that one.

[Matt Wright]

You do have to use one liners to get the message across, that is our duty to the public to explain the problem clearly. Labour in 1997 were brilliant at this. They had everyone from top to bottom of the party machine using and repeating the same words. Conservatives have to do the same. People expect the opposition to stick up for them and articulate their concerns. That is what democracy is about.

[David Belchamber]

Very telling, Iain at 17:46 - Excellent.

"Eg Conservative Governments exit recessions (1990's 43% of GDP) with the level of debt that Labour enter a recession (2008 43% of GDP).

Or the worst under a Conservative bust (income growth 2.1% ) is better than a Labour boom (income growth 1.4% ).

[ukipwebmaster]

This is one liner we're all going down in together!
Boom Boom!

[David Cooper]

Gordon Brown. No boom. Just bust.

[GB£.com]

Brown bailed out the greedy to repossess the needy.

[Libertarian]

The NBS (nationalised banking system) is safe in our hands and Vote Blue Go Red!

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

Gordon Brown has produced a bust that Mae West would be proud of.

[James Burdett]

New Labour, the arrogance boomed and then the banks went bust!

[Dontmakemelaugh]

Labour has put us put Britain in the Brown stuff, again - so what's new?

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

While Gordon Brown dithered, the banks withered, the ftse slivered, the elderly shivered and the country quivered.

[Opinicus]

He promised an end to Boom and Bust. He's certainly ended the Boom...
Still, historically speaking, 50% right is pretty good going for a Labour government.

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

Or,

While the banks withered, the ftse slivered, the elderly shivered, and the country quivered, Gordon Brown dithered.

[aristeides]

The Brown bust.

[anon]

"Blair, economical with the truth.
Brown, economy down the tubes"

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

Come the general election remember: you don't send an arsonist to put out a fire.

[Graeme Archer]

Not Flash. Just Bust.

Every Labour government there has ever been has driven the economy into crisis.

"I can still remember when they repossessed our house. It was only last week, after all"

The economy's more bust than Katie Price.

That's why mums go to Iceland... To beg for their lifesavings back.

We will govern as nothing less than the political wing of the whole country [T Blair, 1997]... and run the police as the armed wing of the Labour party [I Blair, 2007].

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

Mums to Iceland: Nice one Graeme!

[Tanuki]

I'm really thinking that the next Conservative party-political broadcast could use a rework of The Stranglers' song "Golden Brown" as the theme.

Gordon Brown, his time's well past;
Labour's bust, just like the last time;
Taxed to the hilt;
Sold all our gilt;
Always a frown
With Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown - oh what a mess;
True to form, we're heading west;
Spends all our cash;
Now there's a crash;
Always a frown
With Gordon brown

[Graeme Archer]

"Say what you like about the Prime Minister... but we'll be forever in his debt"

[Tanuki]

I'm really thinking that the next Conservative party-political broadcast could use a rework of The Stranglers' song "Golden Brown" as the theme.

Gordon Brown, his time's well past;
Labour's bust, just like the last time;
Taxed to the hilt;
Sold all our gilt;
Always a frown
With Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown - oh what a mess;
True to form, we're heading west;
Spends all our cash;
Now there's a crash;
Always a frown
With Gordon brown

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

I knew prudence when she was a nice girl, that was before Gordon got his hands on her.

[Tim Montgomerie]

That's my favourite one so far Graeme (19:10)!!

PS Here's your Going Down With Gordon Brown video, Tanuki, already made:

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/torydiary/2007/05/going_down_with.html

[Rachel Joyce]

Brown and Bust. The Emperor has no Clothes.
We need to promise (over the course of the parliament, and IF crisis continues):
a. Reduce interest rates.
b. Reduce small business taxes (already are).
c. Welfare reform (already are).
d. Reduce the level of taxation for the 10% or so worse off workers.
e. Worthwhile infrastructure projects in tandem with welfare reform, for the medium term.
f. in tandem with (e) and (c), getting rid of bureaucracy, quangos and "non jobs" paid for by the state. (this and welfare reform could pay for the others)
AND FINALLY
f. "Sharing the proceeds of economic responsibility" - ie reducing debt and reducing taxes (for the worst off first) at the same time.

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

Crash Brown wallop - what a sphincter!

[Colin]

More accountability & transparency-from Banks & from Gordon Brown.

His Boom is Bust-and everyone is at fault except him.

[GB£.com]

Thanking Brown for saving banks is like thanking an arsonist for putting out the fire.

[Edison Smith]

When the recession comes:
This Labour recession...

Whenever they steal our policies:
Conservatives, right from the start

On rising unemployment:
Labour isn't working

When they re-jig the figures:
These Labour lies...

In short: Labour's lies. Labour's failures. Labour's recession.

[Steve Green (Daily Referendum Blog).]

Gordon Brown kept one eye on the economy and the other on his career. I think we can guess which one was on the economy.

[Richard North]

Tim - sorry! It was Saturday afternoon and my distorted sense of humour. You asked for something "economic" and they don't get more "economic" than those two words: "I resign".

Take the comment down if you like. I didn't mean it and it spoils the thread.

[Paul Oakley]

Someone else came up with this. Is it too rude?

- When Britain had an Empire, it was ruled by an Empress.

- When Britain was a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King.

- Now Britain is a country, it is ruled by Gordon Brown

[Ed]

If an arsonist burns down your house you don't thank them for helping to damp down the embers.

[Tony Makara]

Godron Brown, father of the nation's debt!

[Span Ows]

If you're a fan of Gordon the Brown stuff is about to hit you.

...no maybe not!

[Fernando]

Brown would rather pose on the global stage than tackle British problems.

An unseemly squabble to claim credit on the international scene to disguise his failings in Britain.

Spending your money to solve problems he created. And then asking you to applaud him.

A credit boom created in Briain and America which has threatened the world economy

Ken Clarke: Labour always run out of money.

He never recognised the problems in the past, he still doesn't think he did anything wrong and he does not have the solution.

Brown built a ricketty house on weak foundations and when it collapses in the storm he blames the weather. The Tories need to build a house strong enough to withstand
the global buffetting which all governments face.

[Mark Williams]

Labour never works.

Out of touch and out of control. You can vote Labour out of office.

Millenium Dome: £1,000,000,000, ID Cards: £10,000,000,000, Bank bailout: £500,000,000,000, Mandelson's peerage: priceless.

Ken Lay was the Gordon Brown of energy trading.

Labour's PFI: More hidden liabilities than all the banks on Wall Street.

If we thought up a better one-liner, Labour would probably steal it.

[Acknowledgement to Graeme Archer]
More bust than Pammy Anderson

It can't hurt to change horses in mid-apocalypse.

[and some oldies]
In your guts, you know he's nuts

It's the economy, stupid.

[Wayne Bridges]

New Labour New Recession

[Wayne Bridges]

New Labour - So much Bust its enough to make any women Jealous!

[David_at_Home]

How about "I've sacked the boy Osborne and replaced him with a grown up"?

[Crush Gordon]

Crash Gordon flashed our wealth our health and our happiness down the loo.

[Crush Gordon]

Forget the "Mother of all Wars" we now have the "Mother of all Debts."

[Mark Williams]

Under Labour we are bearing the misdeeds of sloth.

[Dontmakemelaugh]

Say what you like about the Prime Minister... but we'll be forever in his debt"

Posted by: Graeme Archer | October 18, 2008 at 19:10

Excellent, Graeme. I like it.

[Londoner]

"Mr Boom and Mr Bust" - with Gordon's haggard face in both pictures, a total lift from the one with Hague and Portillo.

"Labour bust - time for the Conservatives to sort out the mess (again)"

"New Labour, New Bust"

"New Labour - mortgaging your future.

It's not new, but it sure is Labour"

"After New Labout, hard labour"

[M Dowding]

"David Cameron seems to want to blame anyone but his rich kid friends in the city for this - apparently we've all borrowed too much and want too much spent on our public services."
Labour and proud of it.

Do you know who Paul Myners is you stupid little person|? A very big player in the city and Gordon Snotgourmet's best pal.
Are you proud of the money robbed by Blair, Mandleson et al from the poor. Do you know the gap between rich and poor is greater under your shower of sh*t. Proud of it, as the Oxford coroner, said you should hang your head in shame. I bet you have not a clue the poverty endured by people like me, as a child, post war. Sick you are, sick. Give me a toff with breeding any day. Give me people who have not a fortune from the ghetto slums most Labour MPs' constituencies are. The voters of Glasgow East asked themselves, (as their late MP pocketed squillions) what has Labour ever done for me? There conclusion at the ballot box was "f**k all". A fitting epitaph for where Labour are headed. Decent, socially minded church goers and charity volunteers are in the main Conservatives. You lefties are to busy spouting dogma.

[haddock]

on the lines of
"in Europe but not ruled by Europe,".....
something inane like
" in recession but not ruled by recession"

why break a habit and say something meaningful?

[Opinicus]

Mark Williams (21.06) play on the Mastercard ad is very good but the strap line should be:-

Voting Gordon (or Labour) out of office: Priceless

[NickLondon]

1) Just like his economy, Brown is living on BORROWED time...

2) Vote red and end up in the red.

Do we not need 5 simple steps to fix this, on a pledge card and that can be understood by Joe Plumber?

1) Cut spending by 5%
2) Cut taxes by 2.5%
3) Abolish all new spending plans on anything that does not put money in citizens pockets or food on the table
4) Abolish VAT on fuel
5) ?

[christina Speight]

Please everyone - we were aked to produce soundbites as Labour does so well - not slogans much less one-line jokes. They should encapsulate a basic theme of policy - not the details - which should be hammered home relentlessly by front benchers and other on every opportunity. There are lots of good ones here but most don't fit the criteria set at the beginning for general use.

[ChrisD]

Despite the economic doom and gloom, never underestimate the brilliant British sense of humour.
That was really good Tanuki.
Being Scottish and coming from a very much a Military focussed family, no one does gallows better than the Brits!
Just wish that sometimes the British media and the TV channels did more to reflect the fact that the Scots do have a very very dry sense of humour too!

[Mike Thomas]

Brown's tax rises, Brown's spending, Brown's promises, Brown's bust.

When you have an addiction, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Brown's can't. Time to tell him.

They promised cool Britannia and gave us Fooled Britannia; nothing but broken promises and debts - time for a change.

(not sure of exact numbers here but something like)

5 warnings from the OECD, 11 from the IMF, 3 from the World Bank. They all saw it coming but Gordon never listens, time to tell him so he forget.

Brown's is Ollie, Darling is Stan. That's another fine mess they've gotten us into.

The Conservative Party: Clearing up Labour's mess since 1950.

[rugfish]

"Gordon Brown rescued the coastguards of finance but not their drowning victims"

"He threw a lifebelt to finance and turned his back on the jobless"

"Gordon Brown is bailing the economy out with a seive"

"Gordon Brownb should concentrate on our real economy rather than giving global excuses"

[Michael St George]

"Allowing Gordon Brown to run an economy is like allowing King Herod to run post-natal care"

"Incapability Brown"

"You don't have to alter many letters to get from Maxton to Marxism"

[Mark Williams]

Christina Speight:
"Please everyone - we were aked to produce soundbites as Labour does so well - not slogans much less one-line jokes. They should encapsulate a basic theme of policy - not the details"

Sorry, but CCHQ have to give us something to work with. The only discernable economic policy that the party has, in a country where the main industry is finance and where the City employs 300,000 people, is to have a main economic spokesman who is a financial dunce woho wouldn't lst 10 minutes on most trading floors.

So we have to go with humour:
"New Labour, pneumonia"

[Dominic]

Once again with Labour economic De’ja vous crash and burn

[Sydney]

You can rely on Labour to get you into financial trouble they will not let you down

[Sydney]

Gordon Brown’s favourite recipe a classic Labour pickle!

[Matthew]

"Labour has taken Britain from black, to red, to Brown."

"Any Prime Minister is entitled to credit where it's due - but this one's got none left."

[Matthew]

Gordon Brown - no assets, all liability!

[Matthew]

Variation on a theme:

"Gordon Brown has to the largest liability on Britain's balance sheet."

Ok I'm done now! Sorry Tim!

[Eveleigh Moore-Dutton]

Labour lets you down - and LibDems let them

[Cllr Chris Phillips]

Incapabilty Brown?

[Serf]

Prime Minister, the people have no bread,

"Let them eat bank bail outs"

[David Belchamber]

Graeme's comment is marvellous; but isn't it too clever? Far too many people will take it quite literally and think that we are saying we owe Brown a debt of gratitude.

[rugfish]

How about Labour isn't working and neither are we ?

[The Bishop Swine]

Try:

Labour is living in a fools paradish of unpaid debt.

(The old ones are often the best, I recall Heath using this line)