Yesterday I attended The Spectator/ Threadneedle Investments Parliamentary Awards lunch. The great and good of the political and media establishments were there to enjoy excellent food and wine. Martha Kearney sat next to George Osborne. Andrew Neil to David Cameron. Matthew d’Ancona to John Reid. Nick Robinson to Michael Howard. Somehow I got an invitation. I sat between Lord Lawson and David Heathcoat-Amory. I’m not sure if I’ll be invited back next year. After camcordering the film of ‘Dave’ that you can watch below I was given a telling off by one of the stewards and asked to put my camera away. There were BBC cameras rolling but my £200 Sanyo from 18 Doughty Street was ruled out of order.
The proceedings began with Spectator Editor Matthew d’Ancona paying tribute to the splendidly decorated room of the Claridges dining room. It had been decorated with more attention than Greg Barker’s sitting room, he joked. Naughty.
- LibDem MP Julia Goldsworthy won the Newcomer award for being willing to speak up against the failings of Charles Kennedy’s leadership.
- Lord Tebbit was declared Peer of the Year for, among other things, his opposition to Labour’s Religious Hatred legislation. Some wit urged Mr Cameron to hug-a-polecat as the Tory leader presented the Chingford Skinhead with his award.
- Andy Burnham is Minister to Watch apparently. Before Mr Burnham gets too excited he should note that very recent winners included Estelle Morris and Christopher Leslie.
- Tom Watson was deemed to have made the Resignation of the Year but Mr Blair’s lead assassin didn’t show up to receive his award. Bob Marshall-Andrews accepted the award on his behalf and complained that he had never been given a post in the New Labour frontbench from which he could resign.
- Stephen Pound’s Commons tirade against the smoking ban won the Ealing Labour MP speech of the year.
- Labour deputy leadership candidate Jon Cruddas won the Campaigner award for his campaign against the BNP and for reminding the political parties that swing voters in marginal seats were not the only people that should matter to politicians. Looking around the splendid Claridges surroundings as he accepted his pewter dish he noted the old socialist adage that the struggle can take many forms.
- Richard Bacon deservedly won Parliamentarian of the Year and gave almost exactly the same speech that he used to accept his Outstanding Parliamentarian award from ConservativeHome.com on Monday.
- On the day when Yates of the Yard signalled faster-than-expected progress of his loans-for-peerages investigation it was very appropriate that the SNP’s Angus MacNeil should be recognised as Inquisitor of the Year. His acceptance speech: ‘I’ve always wanted a political award… Who do I pay?’
Politician of the Year was John Reid who accepted his award from David Cameron before looking at the Tory leader and telling him that he was the future once. The Home Secretary took great pleasure in telling his audience that it was five years since the top Speccie award had gone to someone other than a party leader. ‘What could it mean?’ he teased!
The funniest moment of the lunch came when Labour’s security supreme told his captivated audience that his remarks had been prepared by Lord Tebbit. The former Tory Chairman pretended to carry a speech to the lecturn. The speech will be more than left-wing than normal, Mr Reid apologised.
CONGRATULATIONS to Julia Goldsworthy for this outstanding achievment which is highly deserved. In your constituency of Falmouth and Camborne you are winning the hearts and minds of the people day by day,and this award will certainly consolidate your base as the future MP as well. We are all aware that when you won the seat no one was as surprised to win as yourself as the seat was a thee way marginal with the conservatives odds on favourites.You won decisively with the help of the Tories who were in a shambles because of the Saga surrounding the Gay Tory Ashley Crossley- but so fortune favours the deserved and the electorate there are quids in with you now.
The Tories continue their downward spiral in Truro,Falmouth,Camborne and Redruth and I think you will have an even brighter future with more awards to come.
We think that you will now catapult the Liberal Democrats in Cornwall to win all 6 parliamentary seats.
Congtatulations again.
Posted by: Roslyn Freeman | November 17, 2006 at 08:34
Roslyn, it's a great shame there are no equivalent Lib Dem blogs...
Posted by: Mark Fulford | November 17, 2006 at 09:38
I thought I was a political anorak but who is Andy Burnham? I have to say that some of these selections seem a bit uninspiring. I was not aware of John Cruddas' campaign atc all and the only thing John Reid deserves is for talking a far better game than he has ever delivered.Perhaps these Awards reflect the general emasculation of Parliament in 2006.
Posted by: malcolm | November 17, 2006 at 09:45
Tim, thanks for taping this. Very amusing.
I'm not a natural tory, but if getting to the heady heights of shadow chancellor means getting to sit next to the gorgeous MK at dinner, then I may just have to change my politics and take the 'speccie'.
Although having seen someone in a pizza place video their daughter's birthday party, I do have some sympathy with grumps who told you not to film. Just shows the slipping standards in today's society.
Next thing they'll be wanting to film the proceedings in the House of Commons and then where will be ? Keep it Mr M..
Posted by: Bedd Gelert | November 17, 2006 at 10:02
malcolm - I am not surprised you don't know andy burnham - this is not your fault but a deliberate effort on the part of labour.
he is intimately tied up with this id cards nonsense and is often found defending the indefensible in the house of commons. of course that rarely gets coverage in the main stream media because they are all in cahoots with the nulabour regime wanting to barcode us all like farmyard animals.
that said, you should find out who is - he is mad, bad and dangerous to know.
Posted by: Bedd Gelert | November 17, 2006 at 10:06
"I sat between Lord Lawson and David Heathcoat-Amory."
What did you talk about Tim? The perils of global warming or the glory that is the EU?
BTW, can't Ms Freeman go and bore for England (or Kernow) somewhere else? The record is well and truly stuck.
Posted by: Richard Weatherill | November 17, 2006 at 10:22
In reply to Mark Fulford @ 9:38,The Liberal Democrats blogs are full of coverage about the success of Julia Golsworthy.My response is in reference to Tory Diary.
I would like to add that the success of Julia's award lies in the direction which the local Tories took with the Crossley debacle.
More interestingly the direction which the locals in Truro took recently has made it more likely that no Conservatives will be elected in Cornwall,all to the benefit of the Liberal Democrats.The best conservatives down there are not with the Tory Cliques and these are the people the Liberal Democrats feared the most.
Posted by: Roslyn Freeman | November 17, 2006 at 11:37
The first post is a classic example of hubristic dishonesty from the Lib Dems. We are supposed to fall all over ourselves and congratulate Julia Goldsworthy for having very very belatedly pointed out the glaring deficiencies of Charles Kennedy's brand of booze-fuelled "leadership". Would this be the same Julia Goldsworthy who was prepared to run for election on a Lib Dem platform disingenuously presenting Kennedy as a potential PM when it was the worst kept secret in Westminster that he was an alcoholic? And let me just pre-empt any comparisons between Kennedy and that other bon viveur, Churchill. A child of five could tell you that Charles Kennedy is no Churchill.
Posted by: Michael McGowan | November 17, 2006 at 11:37
Well, I suppose if you're a Lib Dem, you have relatively little electoral success to crow over, so we must indulge Roslyn.
Posted by: Sean Fear | November 17, 2006 at 11:43
Bedd Gelert: I am not surprised you don't know andy burnham - this is not your fault but a deliberate effort on the part of labour. he is intimately tied up with this id cards nonsense
Well, it would be par for the course to have an unidentifiable minister for identification, wouldn't it?
Posted by: William Norton | November 17, 2006 at 11:50
There's something in your tone that tells me you're a real charmer, Roslyn.
Posted by: aristeides | November 17, 2006 at 11:53
I've heard of Andy Burnham! Do I get an award? I heard him screeching on Today earlier this year, lecturing us that "it's our civic duty to carry ID cards", which certainly deserves an award of some sort: Most Chilling Speech from NewLab Automaton Of The Year?
I've also heard of the LibDem who sends Roslyn Freeman (shurely a conshpirashy, rather than a name?) into such orgiastic ecstasy. Unfortunately it was because she took part in some stupid sports quiz on C4, rather than through some sort of astonishing parliamentary activity.
Posted by: Graeme Archer | November 17, 2006 at 12:53
Funny, funny Tim. When you were told to stop recording did you feel like one of those people who illegally try and record films in cinemas?!!?
Posted by: CCHQ Spy | November 17, 2006 at 13:09
In reply to Mark Fulford @ 9:38,The Liberal Democrats blogs are...
Er, which blogs are they?
Posted by: Mark Fulford | November 17, 2006 at 14:28
roslyn - have you heard of The First Post - put in Search Loic Rich. Interesting alternative view of Julia Goldsworthy and her perceived disinterest in the severe anti-social problems that St Day suffers from local - not St Day - youths (St Day is just outside Redruth in Ms Goldsworthy's constituency). Could be a jaundiced view but doesn't reflect your more rosy one.
Posted by: Ted | November 17, 2006 at 15:18
Matthew d'Ancona has just emailed me to say that I am very welcome again at next year's lunch. Hurrah! Negotiations on camcorder use to begin shortly...!
Posted by: Editor | November 17, 2006 at 15:32
...and on whom you will be sitting next to...??
Posted by: Simon Chapman | November 17, 2006 at 15:34
I'm pleased for Richard Bacon who has been very effective and I think his award was well deserved. As for the others...well, shall I say "interesting".
Posted by: sbjme19 | November 17, 2006 at 16:04