With Parliament in recess there's suddenly a gap in our television schedules where Nick Robinson used to provide his incisive, agenda-setting, ahead-of-the-curve investigative restaurant reviews political comment and analysis. Simply nothing important is going to happen for months (other than the Third World War breaking out in the Middle East, but the BBC won't be covering that once the Premiership kicks off again). How is Aunty Beeb going to solve this problem?
Well, they're going to revive some old favourites, that's how - and you lucky people are privileged to get a sneak preview together with the traditional not-very-good publicity photos.
THE PRISONER

Each week a special guest star will have a go at being Number Two, with the responsibility for devising ever more complicated and ludicrous cock-ups to force Number Ten to resign. At the start of the series, John is Number Two - but it's clear that despite wrecking the transport system, destroying local democracy and cunningly pretending to be living on a Wild West ranch he's not hanging around much longer. Lined up to replace him in later episodes are Peter, Harriet, Alan, David......
This surreal and thought-provoking programme will have you arguing in the pubs all night: what does the mysterious symbolism really mean? who is Number One? why does the fourth largest economy in the world tolerate such a pack of frauds and morons as their government?
THE LIFE AND CRIMES OF DAVID LLOYD GEORGE
Serious drama (i.e. dull). Cast against type, Sir Ming Campbell stars as a politician from the Celtic fringes who stabs his leader in the back, trundles out high-flown moralistic rhetoric and takes pots of money from dubious businessmen. Will he form a coalition with the Tories to gain high office? Does any one, frankly, care? No one's made a programme like this since 1922, and after about ten minutes you'll see why. Unconvincing; doesn't hang together; poor choice of colour. Not a bad theme tune, though.
THE EX-FILES
Two talented investigators set out to crack a baffling mysterious intrigue which defies basic common sense. Yes, it's John Reid's life story and career: ex-Communist, ex-alcoholic, ex-Scottish Secretary, ex-Northern Ireland Secretary, ex-Chairman of the Labour Party, ex-Leader of the House, ex-Health Secretary, ex-Defence Secretary, ex-tremely over-rated, ex-cetera, ex-cetera.
Viewers will be titilated by an ongoing "will they/won't they" tension between the two main characters (Mouldy and Scatty). No, they won't.
THE RENEW AVENGERS

QUIZMANIA
Cheap but surprisingly addictive test of knowledge. You won't be able to tear yourself away once you become involved (largely because you'll be inside Colindale police station and they'll have made you hand over your passport). Inspector Yates is prepared to spend all night quizzing any one within reach as to what they know about money.
CASTAWAY is going to be remade by the Beeb, but set in a more exotic location than before. The basic format will be that unsuspecting individuals will be whisked off to a faraway country, accused of a crime allegedly committed under a foreign jurisdiction, be forbidden to contact each other, have all their money taken away, be tasked to organise their legal defence over a 3000 mile distance, and be unable to consort with their families back in the UK for the duration. Filming will take about 2 years it is estimated, and any catastrophic financial losses incurred by the participants will be non-refundable. Lorra, lorra laughs guaranteed!
Posted by: sjm | July 22, 2006 at 09:24
Wonderful William. The Prisoner especially.
Posted by: Graeme Archer | July 22, 2006 at 11:14