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You can have sixpence if you can guess which hand it's in!

I earn over 100K a year and I still have a rubbish TV!!!

Gordon tries to calculate the tax on Mr. Gerrards wages.

Bought and sold for Scottish Votes; Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

If only they could see the Trinidad & Tobago y-fronts.

Sit down if you're Bri-it-ish, sit down if you're Bri-it-ish, sit down if you're Bri-it-ish...dah dah dum de dum de dum.

Gordon: Remind me again, which team is ours?

Gordon: Of course, the basic problem with England is that the manager has no clear idea of tactics, he's bungled all his substitutions, and he won't be hanging around for much longer...

Gordon: Eleven men against eleven with a crap referee? Just like a Cabinet meeting.

Yes, they are a joke aren't they? (I hasten to add that, THAT is NOT my own opinion! only what I am putting in Brown's mouth).

Of course, as a 'son of the manse' he could be saying 'You see I am just having a cup of tea, no beer-swilling for ME!.

A Scot invented television. Didya not know? Now its put to the best use possible. Putting England on at every opportunity.
Ingerland Ingerland Ingerland

We don't use the system for TV invented by Logie Baird. Ignorant!

It is all so pathetic, I almost feel sorry for him.

The English are sooooooooooooo stupid.

Now where's that cheque book for England's taxes for my Scottish pals who vote on our policies in England? This was easier than we thought.

Note to self: For Gord's sake, don't let them win! We'll never break them up into Regional Teams, if that happens. (Come on, Brazil!)

"If people believe this they'll believe anything"

Is this the right pose or should i unclench
my fists?

Gordon Brown remembers that win bonuses are taxable

Must... form... smile....

Labour Do Not Do.......Remote Controls

Gerrin! Stevie Gerrad has just scored for the "regions!"

Guess how much tax money I got from him?

"It's the ignominy, stupid"

My favourite political memories? When John Major won in 1992, and Tony Blair got the leadership...

About as likely as Gazza's goal being his favourite sporting moment!

I'm not a football fan but is it usual to watch it wearing a tie at home (I'm assuming here that the picture is real and I'm not being hoodwinked somehow?).

Ming Campbell will rue the day he called his neighbour during the England match to discuss a possible Tartan coalition.

Oh My God! The fact that its 2006 and this guy DOES NOT have a LCD / FLat Screen / Plasma tells you all you need to know! That TV is so 80s!

Do you like my hip and trendy 1960s home furnishings?

Gordon: "I'm still waiting for that phone call telling me that I am the next Prime Minister..."

After destroying England and the English, I've realised that they are actually 85% of the UK population.

If I call myself 'British' do you think I will get a way with it ?

They're all buying Plasma TV's paying huge chunks of VAT.
My tax/spending goals are in the bag.
The final score.. Brown 1.

What is going on with his head / body proportions?

That performance was so bad I thought it was my own country.

probably the Mail cameraman didn't help (don't think its been photoshopped:-) but first time I saw Brown I was surprised by how big his upper body is.

The big question is whether he's been taken over by the ghost of Ted Heath - the sudden appearance of flashing teeth, strange smiles, discomforting attempts at being one of the people. I'm expecting heaving shoulders any moment. He's been practicing the sulk since before Heath left us but still......

" Come on the regions - er ,I mean England "

No really, the telly was only a fiver, and tax free!

So the ones in the red shirts are Team Britain? And which region does that David Buckham play for?

England won, super, a great opportunity for a new stealth tax.

Q: What have Peter Crouch and I got in common ?

A: Neither of us are good enough for the Number Ten position.

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