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When I say "tank", I actually mean a Saracen Armoured Personnel Carrier" and when I say "lawn" I actually mean a low-loader on the street outside the conference centre. But hey! At least I didn't overfill my kettle!

Calm down dear its only an advert!

"....Mix the currants and the raisins in with all the other ingredients in the big bowl, stir vigorously, and bake in a hot oven for 3 hours."

Lt. Gruber bridled at being referred to as a "fruitcake".

I'd rather be a fruitcake than a cokehead... (to the tune of Simon & Garfunkle's Sound of Silence)

You Kip if you want to, the Gentleman's not for kipping.

"Your hand has to be like this when you spank me, Mrs Jones!"

"If they want want unification, let's give it to them the hard way."

What's the tax disc for this, Gordon?

It takes more than a sledgehammer to crack this nut!

'This isn't the only loaded weapon I've got'

The remainder of the sign reads

"About to Attempt to keep
Britain in Labour Hands by splitting the Tory Vote

Not Just Barking Mad - We are
EuroSceptic Vote Splitters


"Politician campaigns for country to be governed by laws made to suit its own needs by its own Parliament"


If UKIP want to be a national party, then clearly they need to stand in every seat.

If UKIP are expected to not stand in a seat with a eurosceptic Tory, what seats would the Tories not stand in, in return? Exactly, no chance.

If what you are really saying is that you would like the eurosceptic vote to automatically come to the Tories even if they do not offer Eurosceptic policies, then I would suggest although they may well be barking, you are Upminster (one stop from Barking)

The only reason the vote is split is because the eurosceptic voters obviously do not trust the Tories. Delivery of the EPP withdrawal pledge is the way to address this.

Idiot goes on victory parade rampage.

UKIP tries some new persuasive techniques to boost membership numbers.

On a non-satiring note, does the sign really say "About Britain, not just Europe"?

Sorry Madam, David Icke couldn't make it today.

Nigel Farage instantly regretted opening his UKIP conference speech, "Friends, Romans, Countrymen..."

"You think this is stupid? It could have been an iceberg."

BE AFRAID - have any of you met UKIP Man yet???


See the April 10th posting!

"Were trying to be nice to you with the tank. Refuse to support us and we'll unleash our greatest weapon...Mike Smith"

Can a person be put under duress to join a political party? UKIP dont mind having a shot!

This is the big Sultana speaking...Come out of your closets with your loans held high!

FARAGE: This is the last territorial demand that I have to make in Manchester....

FARAGE: Oi! Who wheel-clamped my tank?

FARAGE: I love you. You're my besht mate. Thish Buckfasht ish bloody good....(hic!) Spare 10 pence for a cuppa tea, guv'nor?

The lunatics run the asylum.

"You can trust me, Im a politician!"

Nigel Farage appears at the Commission for Racial Equality conference.

UKIP, desperate to attract support, unveils its own UKIP taxi. And people say they are stuck in the past!

"I name this tank Cameron - it is very modern and only goes in reverse and spends a lot of time firing at its own troops (they are deserting), but what do you expect it was made in Brussels".

How do you split the Eurosceptic vote when there is only one eurosceptic party? Unless the other one you are talking about is the BNP and I'd be happy for them to get no votes, thanks very much!

"Politics isn't about stupid publicity stunts, oh no.@

"Did anyone call me a fascist? If you did I'm gonna run you over with my tank....."

"And it was all designed and built only using Imperial units"

"Okay lads, Dave says we have to move our tanks of his lawn"

Take me to your Leader - What do you mean he's melted?

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