AFC Bluebirds soar in double victory

AFC Bluebirds is a five-a-side team made up of players from across Westminster. The team are proudly sponsored by Conservative Home. Follow them on Twitter. This match report is written by Chris Rees (pictured below). Follow Chris on Twitter.

Silly season began this week with Parliament entering recess, but the Conservative Home sponsored Bluebirds and Twobirds made sure there was nothing casual about their performances. With two outstanding displays of unity, the teams enjoyed a memorable night playing the beautiful game.

Twobirds, stepping out in their shin-padded regalia, were first up, only to find a distinct lack of an opponent. With the opposition eventually turning up twenty minutes late, Twobirds were given a 2-0 head start. James Doyle, making his return after an all too long absence, played a pivotal role in extending this lead. With the opposition on the ropes after having a man sent-off for unfootballing rhetoric, Twobirds exposed the space by utilising the infamous fork formation. The added penetration, coupled with their superior discipline, left the opposition more exposed than a Shadow Labour Welfare Minister talking about benefit caps on Question Time. They may only be true blues, but Twobirds made light work of their first game winning 8-3.

Bluebirds, seeing their younger brother stick the fork in, went into their game with a point to prove. Going an early goal down can often send a team into disarray, but with government experience on their side, the Bluebirds exhibited all the characteristics of a well-oiled machine. Then, like the winner of a hard fought by-election, this author managed to score a notorious 'lamb shank' – also known as a glorious long range shot into the bottom corner. The Bluebirds were on the board. Sadly this was the only successful long range effort of the evening with many other speculative attempts going to waste. Nonetheless, the Bluebirds battled on and went through a beautiful passing stage.

With Joe Cawley and Kevin Evans resembling their Premier League namesakes, stalwarts Hugo Lloris and Hugo Rodallega, the game remained close. After some clever free kicks and brilliant counter attacking goals, it took a last gasp winner from Kevin Evans to secure the game 9-8. Hudson Roe might liken it to Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in 1999, John Motson might liken it to a cliché, but this author feels the Michael Thomas winner (Preview) in the '88-89 season does it far more justice. Cue pandemonium.

With the teams rightly in a jubilant mood, post-match discussion moved on to the upcoming 11-a-side season. With talk of Christmas tree formations, inverted pyramids, defensive midfielders and half time oranges, the Bluebirds are staring down the barrel of a tough pre-season. Having the final word, Bluebirds' own Michael Thomas warned that it will be getting serious; indeed, he is quoted as saying "I am getting cones and everything".

'Bluebirds' 9 - 8 'Messi is Back'
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Twobirds'  8 - 3 'Goalscoppers'