Left Watch

« Vince Cable, the Psammead Business Secretary | Main | Further evidence that Ed Balls wants the economy to fail, so he can succeed »

Our Top Ten Labour Conference karaoke tracks

By Mark Wallace
Follow Mark on Twitter.

Our deadly enemies good friends over at LabourList have just put out an appeal on Facebook. They're holding a karaoke night at Labour Conference and are inviting suggestions for top tracks to sing, so I thought ConHome could make a few suggestions to help them out.

It's a tricky task. A year ago, I imagine Plan B was pretty popular, but now he's off the playlist for obvious reasons.

Instead, here are the top ten tracks to really encompass the spirit of the Labour Party in 2013:

10) Red Red W(h)ine

Ok, so I've taken a small liberty with the spelling, but since when did good English have to stand in the way of a worthwhile pun?

9) Great Balls of Fire

It used to be Cameron going red in the face at PMQs while the Shadow Chancellor did that "flatlining" gesture - now it's Ed Balls blushing on the economy.

8) You Won't Get Me I'm Part of the Union

Two months ago, Unite's behaviour in Falkirk was the "death throes of the old politics", according to Ed MIliband. Now the suspended union officials are restored, the union is cleared of all charges and everything is fine. Teflon doesn't come close.

7) Gordon Is a Moron

I know he hasn't been Prime Minister for three years, but it was too good an opportunity to miss.

6) Under Pressure

Just look at that poll, Ed. Ouch.

5) Steal My Sunshine - by Len

Canadian one-hit-wonders they might be, but the perfect title/band name combo. I would have gone for the punk band McClusky, but none of the songs are publishable on a family website.

4) Puppet on a String

See 5)

3) Money's Too Tight to Mention - by Simply Red

I'm pretty sure Mick Hucknall didn't have the GMB affiliation fee in mind when he wrote this, or when he named his band, but if the cap fits...

2) Wannabe

Prime Minister? Zigazig-no.

1) Things Can Only Get Better

Because they can, right? Right?