Whitby Labour Councillor fathers child with alien queen - wife "unhappy"

By Mark Wallace
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It's fair to say that the Left harbours plenty of odd beliefs - from the idea that parents should be forbidden to leave their money to their kids, through to the claim that only more borrowing will allow us to overcome our debt problem.

But few can match the, ah, unusual ideas of Simon Parkes, a Labour councillor in Whitby, who has confessed to fathering a child with a mysterious extra-terrestrial known only as "The Cat Queen".

It definitely isn't April Fool's Day, so I can only assume Cllr Parkes was deadly serious when he told the Northern Echo that:

he has sexual relations with the alien about four times a year. “What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he explained.

and that:

...his "real mother" is a 9ft green alien with eight fingers...

Lest I forget to mention, he is regularly abducted and is also being monitored by the security services (actually that one might not be so unreasonable, given recent news).

The news of his interplanetary infidelity has not gone down well:

"My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly."

I bet.