The speech that Ed Miliband should make at Labour's Conference today

By Paul Goodman

It should go roughly like this -

"Conference, my election as this Party's leader was the greatest moment of my political life.  But we have to face the facts - namely, that two out of three parts of our electoral college voted for someone else.

And not just any old two parts.  Our MPs.  And you - our Party members.

That leaves the trade unions.  I believe that the unions have been the greatest force for better lives and social justice in British history.  But their support alone can't sustain a Labour leader.

I've reflected deeply on the situation since Saturday, and have concluded, with great regret (takes out onion) that the interests of our great Party are best served by my standing down as leader - and supporting someone else to replace me.

Yes, the same someone else who won the support of our MPs and you, our members - my brother, David Miliband."

Three quick points -

• How would Downing Street and CCHQ find a convincing line of counter-attack?  Red Ed gone!  The left in disarray!  The Blairites triumphant!  The media, I'm afraid, would chorus...We love Big Brother!

• It's doubtful whether there'd be a second proper Labour leadership election.  Sure, someone would put up from the left.  But D.Miliband would crush him (or her).  It's unlikely that either Balls nor Burnham would take him on...to be smashed at the polls by the MPs and Party members.  The momentum would be with D.Miliband.  Enough of E.Miliband's confused, bewildered and fragmented supporters would make their peace with D.Miliband for his bandwagon to become unstoppable.

• Why do I keep offering Labour advice?  Simple: it makes a good piece.  And, more importantly...I know that they won't take it.