There’s a place for us. Somewhere, a place. For us. Hold my hand.
*
Hold my hand, and I’ll take you there. So, Saturday night, and like a few million others we’re agog at the X-factor final. I’m watching a nice young man from Wales singing a song from West Side Story, a song I’ve always been aware of, vaguely, without really, you know, focusing on it, and suddenly it transports me. It pierces me; whatever carapace I wear to get through life is pierced, is torn asunder, and I’m sat there with tears streaming down my face. Fully clothed and completely naked. George Orwell wrote about this, didn’t he, in Nineteen Eighty-Four. The potency of sentimental music.
*
Love, Actually was the name of the Richard Curtis film, which I gleefully nicked for the name of the first Platform piece which Tim kindly printed of mine. This is the last Column (didn’t you know?) [I told you not to mention that, and to write about politics, just for once – Ed] so I’ve re-nicked the title and, of course, the subject matter: the only “political” thing I really care about.
*
There have been twenty-six young people murdered so far this year in London. So far. That unconscious addition of “so far” is a telling example of Londoners’ expectations about crime. Not that it matters what time of year it is, but I find that the near-coincidence of the current death-toll with the countdown to Christmas has brought the horror home to me. Twenty-six families across London facing Christmas without their child.
Meantime we still have a Met chief who presided over the fatal shooting of an innocent Londoner on a tube train, but who refuses to take any institutional responsibility for it. Great message. Blair, of course, is kept in place by the Labour mayor, some of whose other cronies, we are now discovering (courtesy of some remarkable journalism from Andrew Gilligan in the Standard) appear to have siphoned of hundreds of thousands of pounds that were intended to give young people some sort of life-opportunity more attractive than street-crime. If the allegations against Livingstone’s cronies are proved (and there have been no convincing denials from his office) then there will be a direct line to be drawn: from the corruption over which he is accused of presiding, to the failure to empower local communities, to the ever-increasing cohort of dead London youth.
My fondest New Year political wish: a turbo-charged campaign from Boris. We don’t just need to defeat Livingstone in May: we need to chase him from office, covered in opprobrium. Catharsis required.
*
Someone very clever once asked the question “Is it possible to be a
Tory and an atheist?” in a Conservative Home debate. The consensus in
the posted responses was “no”; and then someone else (it was the
brilliant Sean Fear, actually) wrote “You can be a Tory atheist, but
it’s hard to imagine such a person who is not respectful of the
Christian tradition”. I always meant to get around to writing about
this. Here goes.
I don’t believe in anything transcendental… except for the ghost in the machine. I think of machines as the systems, the processes, by which we manage inter-human interaction. One machine would be the tax credit system. Another machine would be marriage. And the ghost that dwells in the machine – a ghost to whose presence the centre-left appears to be blind – is humanity. To be as specific as I can: I believe that the presence of real human beings transforms any system, and is more important than the algorithm which was used to design the machine in the first place, an algorithm which was designed with only theoretical humans in mind. So I’m abusing “transcendental” here, but I’m looking for common ground with friends of faith. Prioritise an efficient algorithm over humanity, and you’re likely to be of the political left. Reverse the ordering, and I’d say that’s probably what makes you a Tory.
You might call the spirit which arises out of human interaction: God. God is the algebra of human existence; only God can know how to tweak the formulae to maximise happiness (and He didn’t, which is why this mathematician, one cold undergraduate afternoon in Glasgow, became an atheist). Atheists might call the unknowable algebra: humanity. I suspect we’re talking about the same thing.
*
For various obvious reasons, marriage was on my mind a lot this year.
My speech at our civil partnership ceremony dwelt on this (even on the
big day, I was pontificating about politics [It made a refreshing change – Ed]).
Keith and I had been hyper-aware that we didn’t want to offend our
friends who have faith, and given that the whole civil partnership
thing was quite new, we’d shied away from using the m-word, and invited
people to our “civil union”. After we sent out our invites, though, I
had a night out with a couple of friends, one of whom got really
annoyed with me, and queried our careful use of language, and who
finally snapped at me For ****’s sake Graeme, you’re getting married, why don’t you say so? Such language from such a brilliant scientist.
So on the 3 March this year, I stood up, newly partnered, and asked our friends to think about aliens. Not in terms of what an alien would make of Keith and myself: but what we would think about any aliens who might visit us from Zarg, and who turn out to pair-bond. I think we’d probably use words like love and commitment and legal contract, and I think we’d recognise – even if the aliens who were pair-bonding didn’t share the standard Male-Female XY-XX chromosomal characteristics of most human partnerships (why would they?) – that a good word to describe the alien pair-bonding would be “marriage”. Love’s young dream could be alien. A Tory shouldn’t care. The institution continues, even in Outer Space, and the things that make it a good institution – a good machine – for humans on Earth make it a good institution for the theoretical aliens from Zarg. And for the very real Keith and Graeme from Hackney.
Hold my hand and I’ll take you there. Well, we’re there. It turns out that the place for us, the place we live in love, the place I love back, is Hackney. Who would have dreamt it?
Have a wonderful Christmas.
Happy Christmas Graeme. You've become a Con Home institution.
WRT atheism - I'd say it's impossible to be simultaneously a Conservative, and someone who is actively hostile towards religion - in the way that the National Secular Society is. That's why such organisations are missing the point when they complain that Britain's large agnostic/atheist populartion punches below its weight politically, because the Tory atheists/agnostics (of whom there are quite a lot in my experience) have some regard for the faith of their fathers.
Posted by: Sean Fear | December 23, 2007 at 09:39 AM
Happy Christmas Graeme,
And I say that as a devout Tory atheist (pun intended).
Posted by: Alexander | December 23, 2007 at 10:09 AM
Another beautiful article, Graeme! Like you I find music very emotionally charged and that song from "West Side Story" is one of the most moving there is! The quote from Noel Coward "Strange how potent cheap music is!" just popped into my mind - but none of George Gershwin's music IS "cheap" - just potent!
I wish you and Mr Keith a lovely star-spangled Christmas full of love and happiness and I hope that 2008 brings you everything you wish for. Love is the most important thing there is and lasts longer than life itself (at least I believe that anyway!)
Posted by: Sally Roberts | December 23, 2007 at 10:31 AM
The power of music is something no-one can understand. My favourite singer is the 1950s musical star Jane Powell, she is a soprano and whenever I hear Jane Powell sing my ears actually purr! I don't know why this is but all I know is that she is the only singer who has that effect on me, maybe its all to do with pitch and the shape of my ear drum, but listening to Jane Powell effects me physically!
I think the reason why so many people like old songs is because it reminds them of being younger. I've now reached a stage in life where I'm hearing songs that I hated in my youth but now find that I'm quite glad to hear them.
Its funny too how certain recording are 'Just right' I have a very old recording of Beliotz's Symphonie Fantastique on an audio cassette, it was recorded in the days when radio three used to broadcast on the medium wave and the sound distorts a little because it was recorded in the evening, yet that distortion actually adds to the atmosphere of the piece! For atmosphere though nothing beats Choral Evensong, whenever I listen to Evensong I find myself falling into such a peaceable and relaxed state. The magic of music.
Posted by: Tony Makara | December 23, 2007 at 10:48 AM
Graeme, if you love beautiful singing then just listen to my favourite singer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBm4YMPjdBc
Posted by: Tony Makara | December 23, 2007 at 10:58 AM
"Its funny too how certain recording are 'Just right' I have a very old recording of Beliotz's Symphonie Fantastique on an audio cassette, it was recorded in the days when radio three used to broadcast on the medium wave and the sound distorts a little because it was recorded in the evening, yet that distortion actually adds to the atmosphere of the piece!"
Yes I find that an amazingly atmospheric work too, especially "The March to the Scaffold" which sends shivers down my spine!!
Posted by: Sally Roberts | December 23, 2007 at 11:17 AM
Sally Roberts, yes, Berlioz used the book 'Confessions of an English opium eater' as his inspiration. The 'Fantastique' symphony was also played by the Apollo eleven astronauts as the orbited the moon which is an amazing thought. As you say its quite a piece.
Posted by: Tony Makara | December 23, 2007 at 11:33 AM
Happy Christmas Graeme and Best Wishes for 2008.
Posted by: Dave H | December 23, 2007 at 11:53 AM
Sunday afternoon culture!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohYvJIhW2H4
Posted by: Tony Makara | December 23, 2007 at 12:17 PM
A happy Christmas, Graeme. Beautiful writing.
Posted by: Ben L | December 23, 2007 at 12:22 PM
Graeme, please continue writing for ConsHome, I love your pieces, political, personal, whatever!
Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year to you and Mr Keith.
Posted by: sjm | December 23, 2007 at 12:38 PM
Does this mean mean we no longer have to read your non-sensicle drivel anymore?
Posted by: Dale | December 23, 2007 at 01:40 PM
Thanks for another great column, Graeme. On "the potency of sentimental music," if Mr Keith will be doing the traditional Christmas eve gift-dash, he might like to pick up a copy of Oliver Sacks's "Musicophilia" for you. It's all about how and why the brain responds to music in the way it does. Fascinating stuff!
As for "doing god," I think it is entirely possible to be a Conservative and simultaneously to be suspicious of religion. I think the line to be drawn here is between organised religion and personal faith. That a right-leaning person should be suspicious of ideas - sometimes even complete doctrine - coming, centrally-imposed, from on high within a large, monolithic institution is hardly philosophically surprising. But to have no respect for those with faith, with belief in God, would - as Sean said earlier - be difficult to equate with the liberalism the Conservative party stands for [and I mean the l-word in its uncontroversial, 19th-C English sense].
I hope you both have a wonderful break, and look forward to reading more of your stuff soon, be it here or on Platform 10.
Posted by: BorisforPM | December 23, 2007 at 03:21 PM
"I think it is entirely possible to be a Conservative and simultaneously to be suspicious of religion."
BorisforPM, very true. Actually its possible to be a Christian, Jew or Muslim and be very wary of some of the cults that attach themselves to those faiths. Its incredible that Christianity can range from Gay Christian groups through to the Ku Klux Klan. Judaism has some very obscure talmadic sects and the Muslim world is very much open to interpretation too. The point you make about personal faith is interesting. I've heard many people say that they believe in god but think all the churches are corrupt, or words to that effect. Maybe humankind does have a spiritual nature, but one that finds no happy resting place.
Posted by: Tony Makara | December 23, 2007 at 05:22 PM
Quite right, Tony - indeed, if our brand of Conservatism is ever going to be sufficiently popular that we can actually gain power, then it needs to be compatible with people of many faiths, just as it needs to encompass political Conservatism of different stripes.
I don't think that churches are corrupt - and that is an unfortunate line of argument for anyone to pursue. Even if churches were all corrupt institutions, that in itself would have no bearing on the truth or otherwise of their respective assertions as to the nature and origins of the world.
I would consider myself an atheist, and I do feel slightly neglected in that by Conservative politicians in the UK sometimes. But that must be same for people of many different religions. As soon as one's faith [or lack of] becomes a matter of political irrelevance, we'll know we're on the right track, IMHO. "No religious test for public office" is one of the few constitutional prescriptions I would suggest we might borrow from the USA.
Posted by: BorisforPM | December 23, 2007 at 06:49 PM
Boris for PM, I come at this from a slightly different angle. A philosophical Conservative is bound to have respect for the traditions of his own nation, including their religious traditions, because he sees value in tradition. A libertarian might loathe such traditions, as of course might a socialist or marxist, but not, I think, a Conservative.
The model of a religiously sceptical conservative, who is nonetheless respectful of religion, would be Cicero.
Posted by: Sean Fear | December 23, 2007 at 08:24 PM
Sally
Gershwin was a great writer, but "There's a place for us" is one of the terrific songs from West Side Story, written by Leonard Bernstein, with lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.
I didn't see the TV show in question, but I can imagine the Bernstein song would make the others seem like something from the Spice Girls catalogue.
I'm sure the singer was good, but a well made song is generally singer-proof.
The best interpreter of Bernstein or, say Rogers and Hart, is the American soprano Dawn Upshire. IMHO.
Posted by: john | December 23, 2007 at 10:44 PM
There have been some great emotive numbers but I think Sondheim's 'Send in the clowns' especially the Glynis Johns version takes some beating for sheer atmosphere.
As a collector of musicals I get to hear many songs that go straight-to-the-heart one of my favourites is 'Tammy' by Debbie Reynolds which has such a nice melody, its not too emotive but it just touches a nerve and registers an emotion. Delicate but nice. Here is the number on you tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkXBRPmekAI
Posted by: Tony Makara | December 23, 2007 at 11:42 PM
Another great piece Graeme. I really hope this is not really the last for Conhome.I've found them all consistently thought provoking and without exception beautifully written.
A belated Merry Christmas to you and Keith.
Posted by: Malcolm Dunn | December 26, 2007 at 10:50 PM
Congratulations Graeme on some great writing. Just voted for you in the survey. A Good New Year to you and Keith.
Posted by: Ali cat | January 03, 2008 at 08:18 PM