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Mr Keith (yes that one)

Where would we be if everyone took time off for Christmas shopping? Socialism doesn"t stop for Christmas.

Sally Roberts

Now now, that's a bit harsh Mr Keith - you never know, he might be buying YOUR present!!

Moral minority

Not good enough! It takes me one afternoon to do my Xmas shopping. Conservatives should be at church on a Sunday rather than joining the immoral masses increase national indebtedness. :)

Malcolm Dunn

I told you Graeme, you're a bloke,about 5-6pm on Christmas eve is more than adequate for Christmas shopping!

Sally Roberts

oo! I hope you're right Malcolm - I would not like to think of you being In the DogHouse on Christmas Day! :-)

Malcolm Dunn

Oh Sally, I never follow my own advice.My wife's present was bought some time ago! Christmas Eve is usually ruined for me by my hopeless attempts to wrap anything though! Does anyone know of any special needs of any special needs classes for the 'wrapping impaired'?

Graeme The Curse Of Delia Archer

Malcolm, I don't know if this works universally but it works for me: claim a private space in the house. Snarl at everyone that you need 'some time alone'. Allow one hour per wrap. Make sure you have: scissors (you won't use them though), sellotape (you'll use your teeth, and hurt yourself), those name-sticker label 'wishing you the joy of Christmas' things (more accurately would say 'wishing that I give the right gift to the intended recipient and that they know it came from me'), and a bottle of red wine. White wine would suffice at a pinch, but according to my "Delia Socialist Smith: How Not To Enjoy Christmas" book, the white wine is better used when you get up at 4am on the 25th to start making the roast potatoes/mince pies according to her minute-by-minute recipe plan. Spend an hour or two drinking the wine, and snarling at whatever liberal Radio 4 is broadcasting ("Christmas wouldn't be CHristmas without hand-rolled real farmhouse buttah [butter]") while cursing yourself for buying non-cuboid shaped presents, which turn out impossible to wrap neatly. Finally, shove the paper round the odd-shaped gifts, and hold it in place with half the roll of sellotape. Then place under the tree. Feel a glow of love, and enjoy the evening. (NB it's best to forget that your cats will rip all the paper off in the middle of the night anyway.)

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