Theresa May: On the European Constitution... and rugby

Last night, over dinner and fine wine, Gordon Brown agreed the renamed European Constitution.  It seems that the Prime Minister intends to set aside as many as three months to ratify the renamed Constitution.  As Shadow Leader of the House of Commons, I assure you that the Conservatives will use that time to do everything in our power to force a referendum, and campaign against the Constitution.  I gave my reasons when I recently wrote about the need for a referendum on Conservative Home, and this week in Parliament my colleagues and I attacked the Prime Minister for his flagrant breach of faith.  Never again will the British people feel they can trust Gordon Brown. 

On a lighter note, tomorrow, the country’s attention will be firmly on the Rugby World Cup Final.  So this week I thought I’d do something a little different and tell you about a game we’ve played in the office this week.  Here’s our Westminster First XV:

1.    Loosehead prop: Boris Johnson
Legendary rugby tackler – but most famous for taking out a poor German footballer during a charity match.

2.    Hooker: Mark Francois
A tough cookie; he’s not afraid of a showdown in the big internationals.

3.    Tighthead prop: John Prescott
Brings considerable brawn to the front row.  His fiery temper and quick fists mean he spends too much time in the sin bin.

4.    Lock: Michael Howard
Hard man former Home Secretary wouldn’t back down in the scrum.

5.    Lock: Chris Grayling
Tall and strong, he’s effective in the line out, Likes to get in his opponent’s face.

6.    Blindside flanker: Ed Miliband
Supposed to be writing Labour’s manifesto, but totally lacking in vision.

7.    Openside flanker: David Davis
Famously not frightened to put his nose in harm’s way. Loves a scrap.

8.    Number Eight: Lord Strathclyde
The big man would bring a bit of class to the scrum. Lacks Sebastian Chabal’s beard, however.

9.    Scrum Half: Patrick McLoughlin
Known to the team as ‘the Chief’, he’s canny when it comes to getting the best out of the pack.

10.   Fly Half: George Osborne
Inventive and creative, he’s always a step ahead of his opposite number.

11.    Left Wing: Gordon Brown
Claims to be able to play at centre, but his natural instinct is to stay out on the left. A big kicker, he has broken his manifesto promise and kicked the promised referendum into touch.

12.    Inside Centre: David Cameron
Stands his ground firmly in the centre.

13.    Outside Centre: Nick Clegg
Claims to be in the centre, but policies like an immigration amnesty put him outside the political mainstream.

14.    Right wing: Nigel Farage
Stays too far to the right and gets starved of the ball.

15.    Full back: Tony Blair
After years trying to make his mark, raiding down both right and left flanks, he’s burned out and been substituted.

Comments

[DavisFan]

This is nothing less than AN INSULT to JASON ROBINSON to have him replaced by that charlatan TONY BLAIR.

I think whosoever wrote this deserve a FLOGGING.

[Grayling4Leader]

There aren't many modernisers in this list are there? How revealing. Politics, like rugby is a WAR. And we need hard men like Davis and Grayling to smash our enemy.

[Chad Noble]

"Right wing: Nigel Farage"

LOL. Still trying to play the old tunes!

Nigel is economically right of the Tory Party, but socially left (ie more libertarian, you lot being more authoritarian).

[Jennifer Wells]

Very funny Theresa. Well done!

:->

[DavisFan]

I think Osborne should be taken off to be replaced by someone less namby-pamby.

If David Davis smashed Osborne in the face to get him to buck his game up, he probably wouldn't take it in the way intended and would just whine 'you've broken my this' or 'you've shattered my that'.

The big girl.

[Londoner]

It's disappointing that Theresa hasn't put herself in there somewhere so we could have seen who she'd like to get close and dirty with. I'm sure she'd keep the results of that slightly different game entirely private, however. Maybe one to start on a somewhat more libertarian blog. Guido, where are you when we need you?

Now, which female parliamentarians would we like to see in there with Theresa?

If you block this one Tim, I'll know you're a prude.

[HF]

Very good.

[Tim]

Surely Theresa May has better things to do with her time?! Not bad though

[Oberon Houston]

Ed, your picture of Theresa on your front page is rather wierd.

[Moral minority]

Boris Johnson is too undisciplined for any team (like the Shadow Cabinet) as that rugby tackle in a football match proved. He is loose in the head rather than a loosehead!

[Henry Mayhew - Ukipper]

Mark Francois - hooker, ha ha. He's (a bit) taller when he stands up. Genuine tough nut Mini-Me, you wouldn't want his teeth, or hands if he reached up, clamped round your tackle.

Come on England!

[David Pilkington]

Ironically John Prescott was appointed earlier this week as a non-exec director of Hull Kingston Rovers. He certainly looks more like a plodding Union prop than anything in Rover's current front row.

[Geordie-Tory]

Surely the magnificent stately grandeur of Nicholas Soames should be in there as a Prop?

[Yet Another Anon]

Ed, your picture of Theresa on your front page is rather wierd.
Didn't show the leopard skin football boots with 2" studs either!

[Sally Roberts]

I know Mark Francois and think he's an inspired choice at No. 2!

Osborne - good choice for fly half but I'd thought of Alan Duncan for that as well! Perhaps he could be a substitute?

[Yet Another Anon]

The UK needs to leave the EU, the treaty problems just highlight why the EU is a failure, there are no prospects of it working in a desirable way and it is a distraction.

The UK needs to decide it's own economic, security, defence and criminal justice policies while attempting to have amicable relationships with countries around the world including any that decide to remain in the EU - In Europe but not run by Europe has been a failure and every PM has tried this policy since Edward Heath, Mrs Thatcher was forced out because she started to have suspicions about whether it was desirable to remain in the European Project, the ERM and Maastricht were some of the main contributors to the collapse of John Major's administration - David Cameron is setting himself up for a fall over this because as with past leaders he remains obstinately opposed to withdrawal.

[RamonGustav]

Do you desire a house but you lack enough cash to acquire it?

[Antivirus_man]

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