Munching some Super High Fibre Dorset cereal this morning (it takes an hour to eat a bowl, thus reducing daily calorific intake, because by the time you've finished one, you're ready to go back to bed for a rest), flicking through the web, I came across this - surely Earth-shattering - story in The Telegraph: Aliens 'Already Exist On Earth', a claim made by Bulgarian scientists.
Who could they mean? There are some clues in the commentary supplied by Lachezar Filipov, who is the deputy director of the Bulgarian Space Research Institute. He opined: Aliens are currently all around us, and are watching us all the time.
He goes on to warn: Extraterrestrials are critical of the people's amoral behavio[u]r.
Gulp. If you put this together -- they watch us all the time! they disapprove of our behaviour! - I think we can narrow down the geographical location of these extra-terrestials. They would be in a nation with what feels like more CCTV cameras than it has people, a country where you can't walk down the road without being snapped, videoed, followed by the all-seeing eye(s) and
marked. Since they don't approve of our behaviour, we can imagine that they would have introduced sweeping laws designed to prevent hitherto legal activity, together with a plethora of something like, well, I don't know, ASBOs? If the aliens were among us, so far from their original planet, might we hypothesise that they could develop a creepy obsession with something they'd refer to, mystically, as
Second Homes(ssssss)?
Before we descend into David Icke territory, I should make it plain that I don't actually believe we're being governed by human replicants (though I did describe Brown in 2007 as being like a dalek with its gun set permanently to “exterminate”). Our real tragedy, of course, is that this altered, broken Britain, in its state of perma-wars abroad and hyper-individuation at home, was visited upon us by a group (Blair, Brown, Mandelson, Harman, Ainsworth, Hoon, Balls, Milibands, Prescott, Clarke etc) who are all too human. Perhaps we should gently suggest to the Bulgarian scientist to check his equipment. He might just have tuned into Newnight by mistake
