I went to two fringe meetings yesterday, either of which would have made the trip to lovely Birmingham worthwhile on their own. First up was the 'Who is the greatest Tory hero?' debate, organised by the Guardian, blissfully chaired by Michael White, with John Whittingdale (for Mrs T), David Willetts (for Disraeli), Kenneth Baker (a revelation! for Winston Churchill) and Michael Gove (for some bloke called Burke). Michael Gove deserves a distinguished merit award for services to oratory, as he managed to put the case for Burke without once using the phrase 'Little Platoons'. Great audience participation. I went in for Benjamin but ultimately cast my vote for Edmund, along with 52 others. Winston was second on 53 but the final result was a storming landslide for the Iron Lady, with 90+ votes cast. It reminded me of that scene in Absolutely Fabulous when June Whitfield was doing a multiple choice quiz from Women's Own, do you remember? 'For how long was Margaret Thatcher prime minister? Was it (a) 200 years, (b) 1000 years or (c) 10,000 years?'. The final result was never in doubt.
The Editor of this parish called me to the alarmingly named Pravda bar for a quick drink, where I found him holding court in the corner, as Andrew Lilico combined his last ten CentreRight articles into a five minute summary, explaining to everyone why everything that anyone is doing about the Credit Crunch is wrong. He pauses only to crush whatever faint liberal beliefs I continue to cling to. Una forza della natura, our Andrew.
On to the launch meeting of the Conservative Humanist Association - not one for the Editor, this one, for some reason. I made my way to a remote upper corner of the ICC, the air among the gathering throng a mixture of apprehension and excitement. I made the mistake of telling the organiser that the atmosphere reminded me of the old Tory Homosexual Equality meetings, that used to take place at conference 20 years ago ... you would slip into some unlit meeting room, grateful to be among friends, not quite sure if you were allowed to meet like that or not. Then Steve Norris would burst into the room and shout at you, berating you to stop being so quiet and to make some noise. Richard Dawkins did something similar last night. It's probably pointless to rehearse his argument: you either believe or you don't, and we've debated these issues here often enough. But I was surprised at the number of Tories who've made a similar journey, from belief to atheism: it is possible to be a Tory and to not believe in God, to require any practical hypothesis about life to be capable of modulation in the light of evidence. The trick is to turn not believing in the afterlife into a way of helping other people in this one ... to not throw the baby (of the extended network of social care provided by churches) out with the bathwater. Some hard thinking required from Tory Humanists (incl yours truly) on that one.
