The other day Iain Dale was complaining that the police took seven hours to investigate a burglary of his house.
I know what they were doing, Iain. They were fining cyclists like me for running a red light.
Last Thursday I went through a red light after the pedestrians had passed. Within seconds a police motorcyclist was alongside me and I'm now £30 poorer. David Cameron (who has run a red light or two himself) - you've been warned!
I know I did wrong but my experience of the Met is slowly turning a great supporter of the police into a cynic.
A few years ago I was assaulted by someone trying to steal my mobile phone. I gave a statement to the police and was promised that someone would update me within a week or two. I still haven't received that update.
At about the same time I was a witness to a car theft and was called to court to give evidence. I took a day off work to go to court only to find the case had been cancelled but noone had bothered to tell me.
My bike was stolen last year (two have been stolen in total). I rang the local police station. I never got a call back.
I could go on with many worse stories told to me by friends...
One of the best speeches given by any Tory politician during our time in Opposition was Oliver Letwin's Easy Cases lecture. The targets-driven police go for the easy-to-reach offenders, leaving the worst offenders to carry on offending. The same is true across society...
Here is a section of Oliver's speech:
"A month ago, millions of us received a self-assessment form from the Inland Revenue. This gives you the privilege of collaborating in the taxation of your income, patience and honesty. Meanwhile the cash-in-hand brigade enjoy the public services your taxes have paid for, without contributing anything themselves.
Even if your builder declares his income down to the last penny, you may still fall foul of our planning system, which regulates the placement of each and every garden shed, while whole townscapes are defaced by tower blocks.
And if you should find an intruder breaking into your garden shed, do not let him tread on a garden fork as it may be you and not the criminal that gets sued.
I have seen much the same attitude displayed by the ticket inspectors of more than one train operator, who while happy to fine the commuter who misplaced his or her ticket, are unlikely to challenge the carriage full of louts who didn't have tickets to lose in the first place.
All too often, when some of life's freeloaders see the inside of a courtroom, they will leave it laughing. Whereas, for those that respect the law, the courtroom is a near infallible means of enforcement, the mere threat of which ensures that fines for overdue parking tickets, misplaced train tickets, overdue tax returns and misplaced garden sheds are paid without protest.
The same threat ensures that responsible fathers who disclose both paternity and income provide easy work for the Child Support Agency, while deadbeat dads are allowed to disappear into a genetic and financial fog."
Moan over.
