Mark Pritchard MP: Brown's tragic flaw is his (IVS) condition

Mark Pritchard, MP for The Wrekin, says that Gordon Brown's thin skin and Irritable Vowel Syndrome will be fatal flaws in his Prime Ministership.

As Brown’s predictable, but temporary, bounce pushes Labour ahead in the polls no amount of spin or union flag wrapped policy pronouncements will be able to hide the electorate from the Prime Minister’s underlying tragic flaw - his irritability.

In his previous post as Chancellor of the Exchequer, I would often offer a small wager to fellow backbenchers on how quickly the Chancellor would lose his temper at Treasury Questions. Would he "lose it" by Question 4 or 5? Few of us ever won the spoils because invariably Brown would "lose his cool" far sooner than any of us had predicted. Whether it was throwing papers across the despatch box at Shadow Chancellor George Osborne, or slapping down Tory MPs who dared ask questions on tax credits, at some point during the proceedings you could guarantee that "grumpy Gordon" would turn up.

Medical professionals say it causes pain and discomfort; symptoms can be mild and then suddenly flare up.

In extremes the body can become bloated and red, there is "over activity of the nerves and muscles". These are not only the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS,) a medical condition that affects 1 in 5 of the adult population at some point in their lives, but they are also the symptoms of a condition Mr Brown has suffered from for most of his political life - Irritable Vowel Syndrome (IVS) - vowels that reach and rage and short and silence. As these Parliamentary encounters reveal, it is not Gordon’s bowels that will cause future bloating and redness, a real public spectacle, but his irascible, prickly, and very own - irritable vowel syndrome.

Next April The World Taxidermy Championships will be held in Salzburg. It might be a good investment if Gordon’s new spinmeisters send Number 10’s resident anthropologist to see what political lessons can be learnt from the animal world. Taxidermists can talk for hours on the thickness and thinness of animal skins. For example, Cottontail Rabbits are known to be very difficult to work with because their skins are so thin. Brown’s advisers need to avoid trapping 'Cottontail Gordon' becoming a new form of political sport.

The British electorate like politicians who are calm under fire; leaders with emotion but who steer clear of emotional decision-making; and who can take rational decisions under extreme conditions. They are less easy with politicians who are short-tempered. British Prime Ministers are not allowed to have thin skins!
Despite the disappearance of the glaring red Daks ties, unless addressing the Labour Party faithful, and the appearance of blue, soft Tory, pastel ties, Brown cannot mask his IVS condition forever. Even last week, when being interviewed on Radio 4, the scratchy symptoms flared up again. And one day soon, probably in the busy autumn, the Prime Minister’s new and calm, measured, even clergy-like mild manners, will cough, splutter, and eventually falter. When it comes, convinced old ladies will flee to the hills, babies will be hurriedly wheeled indoors from Middle England’s sodden gardens, screeching ravens will encircle Whitehall, journalists will learn to goad and probe a little harder, more Labour spin doctors will be despatched to Austria, some Tory backbencher will have won a wager, and Gordon’s seal of tranquility will have been broken.

Paradoxically, at a time when revisionists are trying to stop pupils being taught about the life of Churchill in history lessons, if Brown is to survive the political arrows that are certain to befall him, both day and night, he might do no better than take Churchill’s advice and develop - "a thick skin". Alternatively, Mr Brown could heed Mrs Churchill’s advice and train for "Olympic calm".

Brown’s IVS condition is serious, especially for a Prime Minister, but if treated - it need not be terminal.

Comments

[Mark Wadsworth]

Exactly.

That time when he threw papers at George Osborne was absolutely priceless.

We need this to happen at every single PMQ's. For some reason George Osborne has capacity to wind him up without even trying.

The electorate will get very suspicious of the Goblin King's suitability to lead a country with a temper like that.

[Dismayed]

What puerile nonsense!! It would be bad enough coming from a teenager but a new MP should be able to offer more than a sad little rant.

It only demonstrates that the party is struggling to come to terms with a resurgent Labour Party.

Can we have some grown-up policies instead?

[Joseph]

Dismayed | July 20, 2007 at 13:46

Could not agree with you more, this is what I call "Emu" thinking, not only does it demonstrates that the party is struggling to come to terms with a resurgent Labour Party. It also demonstates that the man is in dire need of a realty check.
The electorate did not have many problems last night with Mr Brown's personality flaws, they were not electing him to win any charm offensives, they elected him because he appeared to them to have more substance than his opponents.

[Martin Smith]

Actually the only electorate that ever elected Mr. Brown is that of Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath....

[Joseph]

Actually the only electorate that ever elected Mr. Brown is that of Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath....

I think Nulabour and the results their leader from Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath got last night will settle for that.
Do you not?
people that are sharp usually end up cutting themselves!!

[Matt]

Brown is a miserable git who really shouldn't be running the country. Enough said, really.

[Dismayed]

Martin Smith is not so sharp. Gordon Brown represented Dunfermline East until 2005.

[Michael Nye]

You may think he has a thin skin, may be quick tempered, and may also be totally un-suitable to lead the country, but lead the country he does. Not only does he lead the country, his ranking in the polls is increasing in comparison to the Tory’s rankings. Does this say anything about the qualities of GB to lead the country,I think not. It conversely, says more about the lack of opposition that faces GB. The Tory party, and particularly David Cameron, must come up with an effective strategy to place themselves in a credible position to be electable before the next General Election. At the present time it is the Lib-Dems that are winning that race.

[Robert Nye]

By far the greater majority of decisions we make as members of the general public and human beings, are based on our personal emotional perception of any particular issue at the time the decision is made. In addition, as we are ultimately programmed by evolution for self survival, such emotions are inevitably largely selfish and especially so when there is no such thing as political correctness inside a polling booth. Such then, in a tiny nutshell, is the major driving force that elects people and governments to power.
The problem for politicians in a democracy is to predict or at least correctly read the prevailing majority emotions, which often do come along like No. 49 buses, and which should shape the party policy to fulfil the majority public desire. Here I realise I do not refer to the obvious need for a leadership role.
The problem which is highlighted by this article, is that once elected politicians (and I am one) who, like it or not are naturally emotionally driven, are easily 'overcome' by the environment and culture of the political domain. The political 'game' which is publicly most often exemplified by endless analysis and comment on this or that politician's past life, character, etc. etc. while selling news and fuelling political delusion, is of no positive consequence to the public at large, who are still making decisions in the time honoured fashion of what they feel about their own life at any particular point in time.
While the above is a statement of the painfully obvious it is none the less amazing how much time we seem to devote to the likes of the above article, when an application to serious issues that effect the public at large are required. You can write all you like in condemnation of GB but at this time he represents the mood of the public. We have entered a new phase in political life. Spin is out and serious politics and debate is in. Disposable income is eroding fast and the public may now be turning to a need that is served by a balance of policies that contain a little more of traditional Conservative values. I am not an 'Old Guard' Conservative and fully support Cameron so far, however the political landscape has changed dramatically and unusually rapidly, the measure of his success will now be in his ability to manage a rapid change in position and the timely formulation of relevant policy to address the emotions of middle England. Forget Brown personality bashing. If he fits the mood better than us he will continue to do well no matter how much we might try to kid ourselves he is not up to it. If many of you are right about GB he will be the author of his own demise at which time we need to be on that high ground that has just shifted from under out feet! If you have got this far I might offer one last thought as to why, in the modern political age, it seems so difficult to leave the highly charged political ether and focus attention on serious business. Perhaps two words will do – Career Politicians?

[Martin]

My word. How it has all changed for the worse for Mr Brown, since this article was written!

Poor Mr Brown. Slipping and sliding on oil spills from Wendy Alexander, Peter Hain, Lord Hoyle, etc., etc.

His syndrome must really be flaring up, if it can be brought on or worsened by stress.