Miss Seagull's nightlife diary (Part I)

Two nights of Conference and finally things are getting into the normal swing.  Sunday night at the Highcliffe was one of the quietest nights of Conference drinking in history... this probably had something to do with the fact that most people did not have a conference pass.

Luckily your intrepid reporter did.  The lack of people, however, did not mean there was a lack of alcohol consumption.  The London reception had laid on enough alcohol to get all the London Conservative Group Leaders into the party mood as well as Steven Norris.   

As the evening progressed only the seriously committed drinkers were still in attendance. Unfortunately for all of us peaceful drinkers who were quietly getting on with declaring that everyone was our best friend, one man who had clearly not only had too much to drink but had an unfortunately aggressive streak tried to make a lunge at Charles Hendry MP. 

His intoxication though was his downfall as he only managed to fall flat on the floor.  He then managed to stumble from table to table telling people “The people – they’ve taken us over – you don’t understand”.  I hear that later he made another attempt to attack a Tory figure.  Hopefully by now the man has been locked up by the authorities.   

Last night saw a much more traditional Conference drinking session.  Most people had made it down to the Royal Bath Hotel for the excellent free society reception.  Not only was there free champagne, free Kalashnikov vodka and free cigarettes in a magnificent venue there was also a skit!  The keystone cops came through the middle of the room to arrest a speaker mid-flow and then proceeded to perform a fantastic rendition of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”.  Best reception I have been to so far by a mile. Lessons for the future?  Comedy theatre is the way forward!

As the cigar smoke in the room made it unbreathable after a few hours everyone walked (or taxied!) their way up the hill to the Highcliffe which was most definitely not thin on company.  Every A-list candidate seemed to be there, networking their way around the association chairmen in the room until it was time for the Women 2 Win reception where they all dutifully headed off to. 

I am told that the really good drinking took place in the Nestle fringe. Hardly a single MP attended, instead the place was filled with their researchers who had blagged their way in saying that their bosses had forgotten to reply to the invites and would be along in a minute.   

There are no reports as yet of any violence last night and the reports of who may have had to do the walk of shame today are of course far too scurrilous and low brow for ConservativeHome readers so I shall leave it out of my report.  Tonight is expected to be the really interesting night of rumour, events and gossip, but so far I have to say the feeling of unity in the party has lead to a sickeningly well behaved nicety among the members. 

It hasn’t stopped rumours, though, that a very senior figure of Cameron’s team will be the first to be axed in a sacrifice to the Right. I suspect this may just be wishful thinking on their part rather than hard fact.

Comments

[malcolm]

Excelllent stuff! Two questions Miss Seagull? 1 Fancy a drink with me ? 2 I s the 'senior figure' Oliver Letwin?

[James Maskell]

I reckon Francis Maude. His speech at Conference was pretty crap. I dearly hope its him who its rumoured about. We need a decent Chairman who actually wants to bring Associations in rather than alienating them.

[John Coles]

I'd settle for either of them - Francis Maude or Oliver Letwin. Neither of them seems to have much time for the "rank and file", both are instinctive top-down politicians.

[Ben Redsell]

I'd do anything to see the back of the most arrogant man in British Politics, except for keeping Francis Maude as Party Chairman. Yes, that's right. I'd rather have Tony Blair for PM!

[Oberon Houston]

Sorry, but I think there is too much right wing representation as it is without more trying to muscle in. More would just mean less and less votes for us.